I can't believe Stephanie gave me my own blog. NOT a Defeater blog, NOT a Getaway Recording blog, just a JAY MAAS blog. This is unreal.

So first things first, thank you Stephanie, all of your judgement calls from this moment forward are now in question but I'm excited to have a platform for my irreverence all the same.

OK so Jay Maas is a complex man with many complex neurosis, why don't we explore this a little more.

*ahem*

I'm going to have to say that coffee may be the most important part of my life. Almost everyday is the same to me. I wake up at 9:50am. Oh fuck, I have to record in ten minutes... shit shit... shit... If i go to starbucks I will clearly be at least 5 minutes late to start the day. Who cares, I need coffee or this record is going to suck anyway.

Get in car.... I don't want to listen to this... more death cab... all i ever fucking do is listen to death cab. yeah but.... this song is sick... no wait fuck it, I got the sunny day remaster. Hmmm... vocals seem too bright on this version, i like the original version one better, I am that punk rock. whatever, time to drive.

"Hi Gus" (Gus is my roommate / other guitar player of Defeater / starbucks barista master)
"TOOK!!!" (Gus calls me "took" because in 2007 I literaly spent the entire year calling my self "Maasman 2k7" which later got abbreviated to "Took Sev." and consequently then just "Took". I now live with this fucking nickname for life. whatever. I made my own grave

Anyway....

"Tall Drip"
"No Double tall cappuccino?"
"nah, i want extra time to sip, today's band sucks real bad, I'm going to need to savor longer".
"right, right. word."

Now before I get into this last part I want to make it clear that Gus KNOWS about my random bits of OCD yet just doesn't intentionally doesn't comply with them. Which honestly, I understand.

Here is how I get my cup:



what a joke.

clearly no fucking care has been taken with my drink. Am I at dunkinfuckingdonuts? let me look around... nope... i don't see 12 disgruntled brazilians so i must be at starbucks. I don't pay $45.99 per cup of coffee to have it handed to my in such a haphazard manner, but if i have learned anything in this life it's that shit isn't fair and if you want anything done right you best be ready to do it yourself.

So lets do just that.



Ok finally some order. Should Starbucks prorate the expense of my coffee based upon how much heat I'm losing by having to do this? I'm clearly losing value with each degree of dissipated centigrade, so yeah,fucking duh. Of course they should. But do they give a shit?

no.

they are too busy taking soccer mom's Iced triple grande sugar free vanilla soy latte without whip order so they don't get "fat"

lady, you're already fat and your 5 year old son is licking the fucking pastry case. Just get the whip and then go home and find daddy's 1911. please.

I can't handle this, lets make some progress:



Ok wow, life is coming into focus. I like this. Notice how the hole on the top of the cup is lined right up with the top of mermaid bitches head? yeah, that's croosh.

you'll see why soon.

This is feeling good, I like things that feel good.

I want more. more. more. (Billy Idol sucks, I'll just say it.)



wow.
wow.
wow.
I don't think I'm allowed to say what an image of perfection like this does to certain parts of my physiology, but whatever. I'm stoked and i just want this in my mouth. (That's what she said).

I know what you're thinking, "oh cool so like now we can just drink it right?".

ummmm... are you retarded? you fucking think I would go to all of this effort to just pick up the cup all willy nilly. If that's what you thought I want you to stop reading. Seriously.

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ok, hopefully we have purged some of the riff raff.

For those of you somehow still with me, lets get to business. You have earned the right to hold your head up high and correctly savor this fine beverage with the elite. (so far I'm the only person I know in this club but if you join AND can present me PHOTOGRAPHICFUCKINGPROOF then you can be in the club too. I will literally post pictures of club members on this blog. that's not a lie. email shit to me at getawayrecording@hotmail.com)



Place thumb on mermaid bitches face. This both keeps her oppressed and and is the first step in a 2 step process of ensuring proper grip.

This next part is a SECRET but is clearly intentional. Starbucks can act like it doesn't know about this but they know. they know.

check it:



PERFECT FUCKING GRIP.

yeah, drink. thank me later.

now to record something that probably sucks....